What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
