How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
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The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
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What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize