I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
