ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
