the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
