This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
