there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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