i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
