Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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