Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
