it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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