I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
