8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
