I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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