Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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