Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
