i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
