You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
