May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
