Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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