i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
