And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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