well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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