If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
