It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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