is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize