There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
