I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Randomize
