If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
