Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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