someone threw a dead crab at me
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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