Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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