before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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