so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
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i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
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Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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