What a fucking waste of an outfit
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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