The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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