..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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