He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
someone owes me an orgasm
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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