doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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