if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
