shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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