it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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