You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
