the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
