I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
