just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
