What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
