Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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