so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
