i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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