no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
