Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
