things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
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come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
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Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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