So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
