New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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