Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.