Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??