did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
