she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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