Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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