whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
