It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
