We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize