carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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