when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
he shaved USA in his pubs
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
